I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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