just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
