she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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