woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
