i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
