Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
