So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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