Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
