I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
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I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize