I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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