You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
