I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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