There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
