that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
