My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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