these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
