I wanna bring you to show and tell
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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