omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Banned from zoo.
Again?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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