At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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