I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
