Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
