You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
