I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
