I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
