i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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