I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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