Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
