im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
