big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
