I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
