1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize