I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
