apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
