If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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