I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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