So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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