She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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