I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize