He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
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