I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
