Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
