Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
