well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
