i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
