He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
