i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
