Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
