I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
