I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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