dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm just crazy horny about you
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
