dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
