Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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