dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
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no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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