Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just saw a hot homeless man
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
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We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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