You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
